Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahhahaha

I've always known that Kwame was as shady as a willow tree on a hot summer's day, but this shit is just hilarious. I mean, come on--why would you put this stuff in a TEXT MESSAGE. You are supposedly an educated man--you should know that this stuff is public record WHEN IT'S ON YOUR CITY ISSUED PHONE.

CITY ISSUED PHONE.

At least get a second cellie for Christ's sake. And way to lie under oath.

When I read the excerpted text messages last night I was laughing so hard. I mean, come on. How tacky?

Here's a few:

9/24/2002, 6:56 p.m.

CB: This is one of those little things I had to tell you. Last night when I was laying on your shoulder in the car and you held my face and sang whatever song it was, that felt so good. It was just one of those little moments when you just made me fall some more.

9/28/2002, 11:53 p.m.

CB: Where are you now?

KK: At home waiting for all EP [executive protection unit officers] to leave. Where are you?

CB: At the residence inn in Madison hgts.

KK: What rm?

CB: ...I'm in room 311 in bldg 3 in the back.

10/7/2002, 11:20 p.m.

CB: OK, I'm feeling like I want another night like the most recent Saturday at the Residence Inn! You made me feel so damn good that night. As you can see I can't let it go! ...

KK: I feel that we can do that in WV [West Virginia] + just relax together. I need you soooo bad. I want to wake up in the morning and you are there. Make it happen. Love ya.

10/31/2002, 5:28 p.m.

KK: I'll feel better once I'm holding you.

CB: You didn't say whether or not we are trying for some time tonight.

KK: Definitely. I'm getting a room. Damn that!

CB: LOL. Okie dokie.

(Kilpatrick later tells her to pick up room key at Marriott)

11/1/2002, 12:28 a.m.

KK: 6301 or 6302?

CB: Definitely 6302! 6301 has two double beds.

4/8/2003, 8:55 p.m.

KK: I'm at Laker game. The security doesn't believe I'm mayor. Mike is pulling out all kind of shirt to prove it.

CB: And, did you miss me, sexually?

KK: Hell yeah! You couldn't tell. I want some more. Don't sleep!

In the immortal words of Napoleon Dynamite: "GROSS!"

And who admits to shit via text message?

May 15, 2003, 11:02 a.m.

Beatty: I'm sorry that we are going through this mess because of a decision that we made to fire Gary Brown. I will make sure that the next decision is much more thought out. Not regretting what was done at all, but thinking about how we can do things smarter.

Kilpatrick: True! It had to happen though. I'm all the way with that!

Geeze Louise.

Take it like a man, Kwame. Take it like a man, indeed.

A juror speaks out...in outrage.

My favorite quite:

"He should take the punishment like a man, not like a spoiled little brat," Scott said. "He could save the city some money and save the court some time by not appealing. He needs to take a look in the mirror."

And to help him do so, here's a tune for him:

Check's in the mail....

It appears Kwame (aka Douchebag) is not going to pay this bill. It's going to screw up his credit rating. Here's my point by point version of the story:

Jury rules against Mayor Kilpatrick; ex-cops awarded $6.5 million

September 11, 2007

By M.L. ELRICK

FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER

UPDATED AT 1:55 P.M.

Mayor Kawame Kilpatrick said at a news conference this afternoon he was "absolutely blown away" by a jury's decision awarding a total of $6.5 millon to two former Detroit police officers in a whistleblower lawsuit.

Did he think he was going to get away with this one too? I mean, the Navigator, the trips to Africa and spas, the personal security entourage. He really thought that, didn't he?

“I’m absolutely blown away by this decision and I’m sure Detroiters are, too,” he said at the 3:30 p.m. conference“I don’t believe there is one thing in this case that was proven on the plaintiff’s side – not one,” he added.

Well, that's fine because it's not you who gets to decide--it's the jury. You went to lawschool, Kwame. You should know these fundamentals.

“We don’t have the money to settle with these clients. We don’t believe that we should settle with these clients. We don’t believe we should pay this settlement.

Once again, doesn't matter what you think. And have fun racking up the legal fees in post-judgment costs. You're just going to waste MORE taxpayer money. And maybe you should have thought about this before being a huge douchebag. It doesn't matter if you can't pay. It's not like someone on death row gets off because he's unable to sit still.

Asked whether he though the verdict reflects on his reputation with Detroiters, the mayor replied, “I think my reputation rests with the city of Detroit. Being that there was only one (juror from Detroit), I guess I will have to talk to her.”

Um...first of all, it's WAYNE COUNTY CIRCUIT COURT, so there's allowed to be jurors from WAYNE COUNTY, not just Detroit. I see where you're going with this, but nice try. And Detroit, Michigan, the world is done with you. Just leave.

A jury returned a unanimous verdict against Kilpatrick and the city of Detroit in the civil lawsuit filed by former Deputy Police Chief Gary Brown and former mayoral bodyguard Harold Nelthrope.

Brown was awarded $3.6 million and Nelthrope was awarded $2.9 million.

Jurors refused to speak to members of the media after the trial.

Kilpatrick is expected to speak in front of the Spirit of Detroit statue later this afternoon.

Get away from that iconic landmark you dirty SOB. You're going to make it a bad memory for all of us.

The lawswuit was filed by the two former officers, who claimed that Kilpatrick retaliated against them for investigating alleged wrongdoing by members of the mayor’s inner circle.

Brown’s $3.6 million was broken down as $300,000 for wage and economic losses resulting from what he contended was a forced retirement. He received $1.5 million in non-economic damages and $1.8 million in future economic losses.

Nelthrope received $40,000 in wage and economic losses, $1.3 million in future economic damages, $360,000 in non-economic losses and $1.2 million in additional non-economic damages.

It took only three hours for the Wayne County jury to return its verdict, a stunning defeat for Kilpatrick and the city. It was unclear whether the city would appeal the decision, but any verdict against the city would have to be paid from city funds provided by taxpayers.

THREE HOURS!! That's beautiful. It probably took them that long to elect a foreman, take a vote, tally up damages, and move on. That's nothing.

Judge Michael Callahan told jurors before deliberations began that each plaintiff and defendant is entitled to separate consideration.

The jurors awarded $3.6 million to Brown and $2.9 million to Nelthrope.
Callahan instructed jurors Tuesday morning that the state’s Whistleblower Protection Act is designed to provide protection to employees who report or about to report suspected violations of rules, laws or regulations by their employer or a co-worker. He said the protection only applies to employees who have a “reasonable belief” of violations.

Oh, reasonable belief there was...actually, words like "veritable certainty" and "evidentiary proof" come to mind.


MAYBE HE CAN PAINT HOUSES TO MAKE SOME CASH...SEE PICTURE ABOVE.

Justice is SERVED

Christ-figure, my ass.

Bring me a barf bucket

From the freep.com article about closing arguments in the police trial:

The lawyer for Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick portrayed the mayor as a Christ-like figure, persecuted for righteously removing a deputy police chief investigating members of his inner circle. And the lawyer urged jurors to vindicate Kilpatrick by finding that he acted justly.

Gross. How untrue and just disgusting. You can't get much further from Christ-like than Kwame Kilpatrick.

Jesus is angry right now. He made the baby Jesus cry.