Not Firing on All Cylinders

Apparently, John McCain's team all called it a day early this morning.

Their resignation letters probably looked a bit like this:

Dear John--
Sorry to have to let you know, dude, but your campaign is sinking like a boulder in fresh water. I'd love to stick around, but I've got long-term goals that don't include a massive primary loss and early pull-out. I like you as a friend and all, but it's just not working. It is you--not me. You were cool like 8 years ago, dude. Now you're just some washed up Yes-Man for Georgie Boy. It might be time to re-think retirement.

Peace out,
JoeyCampaign Staffer

P.S.--I took some yard signs to use as kindling in my next bonfire.