Happy Birthday Sam Grace! Sorry the Economy is Going to Hell.

Yes, ladies and gents, it's my birthday. You can read all about my crazy weekend here.

In not so great news, it appears that the economy is hanging by a thin thread...not even good strong material. It's like a shitty poly-blend thread that wasn't formulated right. Oil was down to $96 this morning and is now at $94, which normally would be a great thing, but such a quick drop is nothing helpful to an already unstable market.

For Christ's sake, even George W. Bush is acknowledging the mess of it all. Well, sorta. Hell, even McCain was blasting bank regulators (probably right before having lunch with them...maverick my ass).

No one is safe...Merill is bought out, Lehman is down the tubes, everyone else is in jitters just waiting for the closing bell. It's kind of awkward to think my birthday might be remembered for something like this.

We're being told not to spend, but screw that. I'll spend what I want on my birthday. And tomorrow, when the economy collapses, it'll be just grand.

The Great Disconnect of 2008: Oil Profits Soar While Car Companies Lose

In the same week we get three pieces of information that don't seem to mesh.

First, we're told that Exxon's Second-Quarter earnings set a record. And some record it was. Not only did Exxon surpass its own previous (staggering) profits, but it was the biggest quarterly profit for a corporation in the history of the world. EVER.

Then we're told that auto sales plunged in July. Ford's sales went down a staggering 14.9%.

Finally, today, GM announces that it posted a $15.5 BILLION loss for it's second quarter.

So, riddle me this, Batman--if the car companies can't sell cars how are the oil companies making money hand over fist?

I know the answer, I'm not stupid. (Oil prices being as they are drove up profit. Not to mention that just because people aren't buying new cars doesn't mean they aren't driving.) But it just seems somewhat ironic that the news comes out in the same day. Oil profits soar while domestic car companies are swirling around the S pipe at the bottom of the toilet.

I used to think the oil companies and the car companies were in cahoots. Now I just think the oil companies have everyone by the proverbial scrotum. Or in this case, aptly-put, over a barrel.

How to Solve Gas Prices? Let's Drill Some More

In another expected yet moronic move by George W. Bush, the President called for an increase in off shore drilling in an attempt to lower gas prices. As if ruining our economy and using up the supply of oil we do have is some sort of sustainable solution, Bush urged us to start drilling off our own shores.

Ugh.

Is Bush going to stop his lame duck tour of the world making asinine comments anytime soon? I'm getting sick of hearing about it.

So much BS you'll need some Immodium

This is the biggest crock of crap ever. Seriously. Big Oil not to blame? And who did this study? Oh that's right: The American Petroleum Institute.

I'm sorry, but that's like me trying to objectively study a new U2 album--I'm going to like it no matter what.

I suggest that the oil companies and the API take a sh*tlaod of these, because someone up in there is just spewing at both ends.