Because Obama Would Chip In For 'za

In a recent poll it was revealed that more Americans would want to watch football with Obama than McCain.

Now, I know this means nothing about who is more qualified to be the leader of the most powerful country in the free world, but I think it's an important note about where the candidates' characters stand.

I was thinking about this, and I can see why this is true. First of all, Obama would bring a six pack at least whereas you know McCain would make some excuse as to why he couldn't. The sad part of that is McCain's wife owns a freaking beer company--you think she could chip in a keg or something. But no, he'd make some excuse about not having his ID on him (like they'd card him). So then you're down a few beers. That's strike 1.

Strike 2 is that the minute everyone would chip in to get pizza, McCain would conviniently be in the john. You and I both know this, America. He's got a free shot to be in the john more often because he's old and the minute people started talking about ordering pizza he'd have to "go". In reality he'd be sitting in there just waiting out the discussion. Then you'd get it ordered and he'd come strolling out. When someone mentions that "hey, John...we all chipped in for pizza," trying to encourage his cooperation in the plans, you know the suggestion would be lost on him. He'd just say "oh, I already ate....Cindy and I stopped at Red Lobster," or "that's nice." Strike 2.

Strike 3 is that he'd probably fall asleep during the game and then look at you funny when your cheers woke him up. Someone would point to him while sleeping and mouth "that's why we don't like to invite him." You'd all laugh, waking him up again to be greeted with a dirty look. It'd just put a damper on the night. At least participate, John. Strike 3. You're out.

As if three strikes weren't enough (and this is America, three strikes are enough), you know that although he didn't bring beer or chip in for pizza he'd partake in them--even if he already ate. No one can not have at least one slice and his peepaw ass would be up there getting the first one. And no one would make a comment about it because (1) he's old and (2) he's a senator. So everyone would be out some pizza and beer and McCain would be just happy as a clam. Meanwhile, Obama would have brought some beer and would have chipped in for the pizza and probably insisted upon a large tip for the delivery guy (you know McCain would have stiffed him too).

I dig you, America. You know where I'm coming from on this.